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cherie_morte in rs_small_gifts

Fic: The Night Before the Night Before Christmas for brighty18

Title: The Night Before the Night Before Christmas
Author: cherie_morte
Recipient: brighty18
Rating: PG-13
Highlight for Warnings: *Language and Boys Being Pervy Boys*
Word Count: 1,550
Summary: Sirius decides to celebrate Christmas a little early.
Author's notes: Beta’d by wutendeskind. My prompt was: “Parody of/re-telling of/references to any famous Christmas story/movie.” I structured this around “The Night Before Christmas” with some “It’s a Wonderful Life” thrown in just because it was super ~appropriate. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Brave Tin Soldier gets a nod because I read it in children’s literature this semester and it helped me somewhat address her second prompt: “Favorite childhood toys discovered or rediscovered.” I tried to hit as many of your likes as possible and I really hope you enjoy this story and have a GREAT holiday season. <3333

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a—

Sirius paused, distracted from his silent poetry recital by a scratching sound at his feet.

“Wormtail? What the fuck?”

Sirius had decided to enter the house via the chimney route—despite that fact that he had the password and the magical abilities to break in even if he hadn’t had the password—just for the sake of tradition. Even with his attempts at making the entry wide enough to fit down without getting stuck, it had been so cramped that Sirius was now covered in soot and felt as though his insides had been packed into one of Lily’s tiny glass muggle ornaments. Thankfully, Sirius wasn’t one of the fattest Santa Clauses to go down a chimney and had managed to wriggle his way out, but as a result, he wasn’t one of the jolliest, either.

“Oh, stop looking at me like that. It’s Padfoot.”

The rat promptly changed back into the twenty-year-old blonde boy he had been before Sirius had awoken him with his cursing.

“Just making sure. I heard someone downstairs and I figured I’d better check and see if I needed to warn James. Scary times, you know, to have maniacs coming in through your ceiling. Or through James’s ceiling. Any ceiling, really.”

“You were going to inform on me, were you?”

“I still might, if I decide you’re a maniac. Which I very likely will. What the bollocks are you doing?”

“Didn’t you know I dress like a bearded apple and come down Chimneys every Thursday night? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m Santa Claus.”

“Which would make perfect sense if it were Christmas.”

“We’re having Christmas early. Now go get James and Lily and tell them to bring Harry. And wake Remus, if you can. I’ve managed to transfigure eight very ill-tempered broomsticks into flying reindeer and they will definitely break through the roof if I don’t get them back to their usual state soon.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Peter replied shaking his head groggily as he made his way back upstairs.

Harry had not really appreciated the theatrical brilliance of Sirius’s performance (he being six months old at the time) and the general consensus was that Sirius should have let the household remain asleep. Nevertheless, Sirius felt it to be a very important part of his godfathering duties to make sure Harry had a functioning Santa Claus every year until he realized that Santa Claus looked a little bit too much like that other guy he had to put up with all the time. This year would be no exception. No matter how many natural circumstances tried to get in the way.

“Why are we pretending it's Christmas?” James finally asked on behalf of everyone present.

Sirius shoved a poorly wrapped gift in his face and turned back to Remus with a stupid smile as he held out another gift (also badly wrapped, though clearly more effort was put into this one).

“Lovely night we’re having,” Peter said deliberately, trying to nod his head discretely out the window.

Lily made an “oh, I get it” face, Remus looked down shyly, and Sirius gave Peter an appreciative look. James, ever oblivious, looked out the window, made a clear effort to understand, and then shook his head.

“I’ve got nothing.”

Peter got up and walked to the window, pointed directly at the nearly full moon, and repeated his previous statement. James gaped and finally shrugged.

“Really, James, are you really going to make me say it? It’s a full moon tomorrow and nobody is missing Christmas. Now shut up and open your presents.”

James immediately looked guiltily from Sirius, who was doing his best not to glare, to Remus, who looked considerably less amused than he had the last time James had looked at him.

“Sorry, mate, I forgot.”

Remus smiled a little and waved his hand dismissively. Sirius inserted himself into the moment by shoving the aforementioned present in Remus’s face and chanting “open it” with all the petulance that would be expected from his noble upbringing.

Remus unwrapped the gift slowly while Sirius watched closely, his face turning an impressive shade of red once he caught sight of what was inside.

“Is it a ring?” Lily asked immediately. She later denied having her fingers crossed underneath the package she was unwrapping.

“Isn’t one wedding in one year enough for you, woman?” Sirius asked, his face horrified.

“Yeah, plus, Sirius has been eating way too much holiday ham to fit into a wedding dress.”

Sirius jabbed James in the ribs and attempted to be discrete as he glanced down at his stomach self-consciously.

“James is just jealous because Lily won the fight over who got to wear the dress to theirs,” Remus said soothingly. “I’m sure your growing tummy would look adorable in a wedding dress.”

“I think I hate everyone except for Peter,” Sirius confessed, looking a little surprised to be saying the words himself.

“That’s just because I’m the only person here who would look worse in a dress than you would.”

The other three laughed heartily and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“You people are only nice to me when I’m a dog.”

With that Sirius changed into Padfoot, leaving a silver beard and a stupid red hat on the floor, and jumped up on the couch next to Remus. The werewolf’s fingers curled absently in the thick black fur until they had all finished unwrapping their presents and Padfoot hopped down to tumble on the carpet with Harry.

“Eggnog, and then back to bed,” Lily announced sternly as she rose.

She threw Harry and Padfoot a worried glance as the enormous dog licked Harry’s face and the infant giggled.

“If he eats our son, you will never sleep in a bed again in your life,” she promised James before marching into the kitchen.

An hour later, Remus and Sirius were curled up in bed half naked watching a little tin soldier march himself around the room with great dignity.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Remus said, trying to sound less content than he was. He wasn’t really talking about the gift, but he figured Sirius was smart enough to know that. “Those things are antiques by now. I know how much they go for.”

The particular brand of enchanted soldier had discontinued production when too many of the tiny figures had taken household pets for enemies and declared war. Remus had owned one as a child. From age six it had been like a friend to him—it had been his favorite toy until Sirius had broken it second year. He’d always secretly missed it.

“I didn’t forget that face you made when you found the pieces. I felt so awful, even if I pretended not to at the time. I thought maybe it would cheer you up.”

“I don’t need cheering up,” Remus said, sounding sincere, before giving Sirius a slow, appreciative kiss.

“Really? Because I’d give you anything. Just tell me what you want.”

“I will kill you. I will kill you slowly.”

Remus sorely regretted agreeing to introduce Sirius to muggle holiday traditions. Of all the films to get fixated on, Sirius had chosen Remus’s least favorite holiday movie ever. Remus had almost not included It’s a Wonderful Life in the mix of holiday movies he had put together but had decided to because it was the big classic. This was a decision he was very sure he would be regretting for the rest of his life. Sirius had watched the film no less than seven times in the month of December alone.

“What is it you want, Moony? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Moony.”

“I hate you. I really, really hate you.”

Sirius just cuddled Remus closer and continued to speak the dialogue into Remus’s neck.

“You say ‘then what.’ I tear down the moon so it isn’t around causing anymore trouble. And then you swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see...and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your—“

“If you finish that in any way other than how it goes in the movie, I will be forced to divorce you.”

“But I haven’t even given you the ring yet,” Sirius pointed out logically before continuing his attack. “Am I talking too much?”

“How do you think the movie would have gone if she’d been honest and said ‘God yes, now shut the fuck up.’?”

“You are killing my holiday high, sir.”

“I forgive me for that.”

“I would punish you, if there weren’t a child in the next room.”

“I would let you.”

“In that case: Christmas next year. You, me, our flat, no one else. Yes?”

“It’s a date, baby.”

Sirius leaned over Remus and kissed him one more time.

“Goodnight, Sirius. Thank you for Christmas.”

Sirius lay back and let himself finish the silent poem he’d been slowly working through all evening:

Happy Christmas to all, he thought. It had been a good night.


Aww, this is adorable!!! It made me feel all festive and smiley. :D

It was all hilarious, but this, in particular, made me laugh:

“Didn’t you know I dress like a bearded apple and come down Chimneys every Thursday night? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m Santa Claus.”
Yay! I am so glad you enjoyed it :)
That's really adorable, haha. The dialogue between the five of them was particularly great, I really felt like they were all equals and good chums, and I love it when that happens. ♥
Ahh! Thank you! What a compliment, group dynamics happen to be my favorite thing about the marauders so the fact that you think I captured them well makes my day! :D
I love this so much and love YOU for writing it!! And for hitting virtually AL my prompts/likes, etc. You are truly made of awesome.

The dialog was hilarious and I really, really loved your Peter. This bit of conversation was absolutely perfect:
“Oh, stop looking at me like that. It’s Padfoot.”

The rat promptly changed back into the twenty-year-old blonde boy he had been before Sirius had awoken him with his cursing.

“Just making sure. I heard someone downstairs and I figured I’d better check and see if I needed to warn James. Scary times, you know, to have maniacs coming in through your ceiling. Or through James’s ceiling. Any ceiling, really.”

“You were going to inform on me, were you?”

“I still might, if I decide you’re a maniac. Which I very likely will. What the bollocks are you doing?”

“Didn’t you know I dress like a bearded apple and come down Chimneys every Thursday night? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m Santa Claus.”

“Which would make perfect sense if it were Christmas.”

Not only was that incredibly funny, but I love the little sad little hint of thing to come.

I also loved how Sirius seemed so over-the-top until everyone else FINALLY figured out the bit with the full moon. (Again, bless Peter.) Frankly, that seemed precisely like something that Sirius would do. And, even if Harry was too young to fully appreciate "the theatrical brilliance of Sirius’s performance," I still love the fact that Sirius did it. In fact, his whole performance there had the qualities I love in the man: absolute loving enthusiasm and almost unexpected attention to detail (like the lovely bit with the tin soldier, etc.) He was just... perfect.

:DDD Darling, I am so so overjoyed that you enjoyed this! I did do my best to hit most of your likes so I'm really glad that pleased you, especially that you liked Peter--it was my first time writing him with a more central role, but I think that bit you quoted was my favorite part of the story and I'm really happy you liked it, too!

Happiest of Holidays to you, sweetheart!!
OMG this is so adorable! Sirius is so Sirius here - over-the-top and ridiculous and so endearing I want to smush him in his red suit! I love the gift and the bit of background behind it, how there is a history and camaraderie between all of them that is so evident in each interaction (whether it's all the Marauders together or just Remus and Sirius). This also makes me want to finally watch It's a Wonderful Life (which I've never seen:[), if only to get the references. Very lovely ♥
Thank you, BB! I'm really glad you enjoyed this!

And LOL--so far from what I've seen people either have Sirius or Remus's reaction to it, there is NO middle ground with that movie. But I think even the people who really dislike it (*cough*like myself*/cough*) admit that the scene Sirius is quoting from her is adooorrrable.
Of course, cherie_morte is right, people either love "It's a Wonderful Life" (me) or hate it. But you must see it!
The drunken Jimmy Stewart/ Donna Reed scene quoted here is adorable but my favorite is the phone scene where they stand so close to one another to speck into the same receiver. IMO, one of the sexiest ever filmed.
Cute! Enjoyed the presence of all the Marauders (and baby!Harry), and Sirius's holiday cheesiness there at the end. Nice job!
:D So glad you liked it!
It's A Wonderful Life references are always good, especially that part. I've always thought it so romantic and especially lovely when applied to Sirius/Remus. ^_^
As soon as I saw the prompt that scene popped into my head and I knew I had to include it. It's so *them*.
That was so gorgeous! I love your mad, thoughtful, beautiful Sirius! *squeezes him tight* Brilliant, hon!
:DD I'm so glad you liked it, dear! *hugs*
Aww! *grins* I love Sirius tormenting Remus with quotes from It's a Wonderful Life. :-D
:D Glad you liked it!
Awwww, Sirius! *squishes him* That was all kinds of warm and Christmasy. :D
Thank you, BB!! <333
So glad that you enjoyed it!!
Adorable! Sirius is, in his own inimitable and zany way, a very thoughtful boyfriend. :)
He's really crazy but really cute ^_^
Awww, that was so cute and funny :) Sirius is a great Santa Claus, never forgetting anyone, working overtime and everything. And I particularly liked Peter here; he was so witty, and you really showed him as a part of the group. Very cool :)
Thank you thank you thank you for those lovely compliments <3
Aw, that's so cute! I like it that you made Peter not-slow and witty. And Sirius and his ideas of Santa Claus for Harry. :)
So glad you liked it :)
Oh, I love this! You made me laugh and feel like cuddlign Sirius (OK, I feel like cuddling him all the time, I admit) with his thoughfulness and love for Remus.

I wonder what happened with the bad-tempered broomsticks...
HAHAHAHA. I suppse they'll find out about the broomsticks in the morning and it won't be very nice for Sirius.

And it's okay, I think we all want to cuddle Sirius all the time ;)
This was so funny and marauderish! I love it when they carry that feeling into the years after Hogwarts, even while their having to learn responsibility fast.

Sirius' idea to celebrate Christmas early for Remus was so sweet!
Thank you so much, darling :D!
I simply adore everything about this! The references to Christmas classics, witty Peter, slow on the uptake James, over the top Sirius, unimpressed Harry..... Unfortunately, my family and friends usually ignore my desire for toys for Christmas. I like toys. I'm super jealous of the magical tin soldier!
But I luv, luv, luv the exchange about wedding dresses! Each line was better than the one that proceeded it.
*grabs into hug* This comment was so wonderful! You made my morning with it :D. I am so glad you enjoyed it!
Oh my, this was absolutely delightful! ♥ Such witty banter between all of them, and how sweet this is without being overly fluffy! I love how Sirius wraps his presents badly but puts in significantly more effort for Remus ♥ And his goofy smile and petulance in getting Remus to open it! Oh, this just makes me melt a little inside, I adore this ♥

What a lovely lovely fic to go to bed with~ :D
What a fantastic comment to wake up with! Thank you so much for reading, I'm really, really glad you liked this :D
aww this was so cute! :)
Thanks, BB!
This is just ridiculously adorable!
Thank you so much, sweetie ^_^
Apparently I'm feeling sentimental tonight, as this made me feel a bit choked up.

So glad you enjoyed it! <3
That made me feel warm inside :) Sirius is really sweet here :D And just imagining baby Harry makes me squeal XD
:D! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
Aww, it was so adorable! ♥ Sirius is such a great Santa Claus. His gift for Remus is just perfect and shows how much he loves him (it happened in second year, he could have forgotten about it!).
And I loved your Peter - he's as important and witty as the others.

The dialogues between the five of them were so funny! The wedding-dress part in particular was hilarious!

Thank you for sharing!